degrees of separation
by AGENT Kuma-chan
Summary: It was hard being left behind, to wait for the day time would start moving forward again. -Miuna, Kaname, Hikari, Manaka, Chisaki, Tsumugu


**Title:** degrees of separation

 **Character/Pairing:** Miuna, Kaname, Hikari, Manaka, Chisaki, Tsumugu, Akari, Sayu, bits of an assortment of pairings

 **A/N:** This is for the Nagi no Asakura zine—I decided to write an AU where each year of the 5 year time skip is covered by a different character (e.g. what if Kaname was left behind?)

 **Summary:** _It was hard being left behind, to wait for the day time would start moving forward again._

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 **Year 1: Miuna**

The sea was calm.

Miuna gazed out to the pier on her way to school. If she looked hard enough, she could find four students climbing up the docks, salt water dripping off their bodies. Manaka would be crying, with Chisaki and Kaname comforting her and Hikari, Hikari would be grumpily walking ahead of them.

He'd then turn around, barking at them to hurry up, and—the gentle tug of Sayu's hands stirred her out of her reverie.

"Miuna?" Sayu looked at her, concerned. Miuna looked down at their joined hands, at the warmth that pooled between their skins.

This was reality. The docks were empty, the sea still, and no one would emerge from the water no matter how long she waited.

"It's nothing," Miuna lied, walking forward once more.

The sea was dead.

-x-

Her father had cried often after her mother had died. Big fat tears, his shoulders shaking with every breath. She couldn't remember what made him stop, when his frowns had turned into smiles.

"It'll be ok," he promised her as they stood on the docks, watching the boats drag the sea. His hands were heavy on her shoulders, his smile a little wobbly. He crouched in front of her. "Akari's ok."

"But…" she wailed, her fingers digging into his shirt. "The storm—Hikari—" Tears filled her eyes, making everything blurry. "Aka-chaaannn!"

"It'll be fine." He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair. "Don't worry."

Her father who had cried so much before didn't shed one tear that day. Or any day after.

-x-

"It's harder to fish," a dark skinned boy told her. She had found him staring out at the sea, his eyes on some distant horizon. Miuna recalled playing with him a few times—he had been Hikari's friend, or had it been Manaka's?

She couldn't remember.

"Is it because the sea god is angry?" she asked, grabbing the edge of her shirt nervously. Hikari had mentioned an ice age, a great cold that would come and kill everyone.

 _It would be years_ , he had claimed.

Looking at the water now, the chunks of ice slowly forming, he had to be wrong. The snow kept falling, hiding everything.

"Maybe." The boy looked down at her, his expression as still as the water. "But we still have some time."

"Do you think…they're dead?" She couldn't ask Sayu or her father this.

He frowned, looking back at the water. After a long silence, he finally turned back to her and shook his head. "No."

"How?"

"If the sea god caused all this, then I think it's to protect them." His answer was simple.

Simple and believable.

Miuna sank to her knees, relieved.

-x-

Her father was chopping vegetables in the kitchen. His movements were slightly clumsy, unrefined. Each chunk was better than the last and it was an improvement from that first meal. Miuna watched him from the kitchen table, peering over the top of her chair. This felt familiar, this watching. From a distance, always from a distance.

Akari cleaning the store. Hikari making a wooden doll at school. Her father, tenderly holding Akari when he thought no one was looking.

That final time at the boat ceremony, a pathway of lights glowing under the sea.

"I miss them," she murmured. The kitchen was too big, the house too quiet.

"Me too." Her father smiled up at her, tired. "Akari and your mom were much better than me at this." He checked the stove, wiping his forehead as he waited for the water to boil. "I should have practiced more with them."

Getting up, Miuna entered the kitchen. "I'll help."

Her father stared at her, surprised, before petting her head gently. "Alright. Do you want to keep an eye on the rice for me?"

"No," she refused, shaking her head furiously. She was tired of watching, of waiting. "I'll cut."

-x-

 _Go away_ , she had written, her fingers sticky from gum. _Go away and never come back._

When the festival came, she had gotten exactly what she wished for.

-x-

This was a secret, a thing she could tell no one: her father had cried after the ceremony. Once, just once.

They had found the kimono on the sand like a beached whale. There was no sign of Akari nearby, no sign of anyone. Collapsing to his knees, he had held the fabric close to his face.

"I should have looked at her," he had whispered, his voice muffled. "I should have looked at her and never let the sea god have her."

-x-

"Let's take the left path," Miuna requested. Without waiting, she headed down it.

Sayu stopped in her tracks, already taking their usual route on the right. "What?"

"I want to walk this way today." She kept walking.

Sayu gaped, her mouth opening and closing without a sound for a few minutes before she ran to catch up to her friend. "But we always take the other path."

Miuna shrugged. "I want to take this one."

Sayu kept looking over her shoulder as they walked, still not understanding what was happening. "What about the sea?"

"I hate the sea," Miuna lied. For all the sea had given, it had taken away too many things. Too many people.

"Oh." Sayu thought about it before coming to a decision. "Then I do too."

"I hate the sea," Miuna repeated and this time it didn't sound like a lie.

-x-

 **Year 2: Kaname**

The sea was still.

Kaname stood on the cliff, staring down at the waters below. In midwinter sun, the ice almost seemed to glow. Not that the land looked much different, the salt snow was almost a daily occurrence this season.

"There won't be much fish today," Tsumugu's grandfather grunted, coming to stand next to him. It was a trait he shared with his grandchild, a near invisibility until they spoke. Sometimes, it stayed even after they spoke.

Not that he could talk. His own presence was even less than theirs was, even amongst his friends.

"I'll be…back early." Even now, it was hard to say _home_. Harder still to imagine this would be home for the rest of his life. His new uniform didn't quite look right and he expected Hikari to pop out of nowhere, angry that he wasn't wearing a Nami one.

"Take your time." The old man looked at him, assessing him. Without saying another word, he turned away and started to walk back to the house.

Kaname turned back to the sea again.

-x-

When he had woken up on the boat, still holding onto Tsumugu, he had almost laughed at the news.

Of course he was the only one left out, left behind. It seemed like that was his lot in life—always the third wheel, always the odd one out. This was just an amplification of it, nothing more, and nothing less.

-x-

"Kaname!" Akari set down the box she was holding. Wiping the sweat from her forehead, she smiled at him. "It's been a while."

"Yeah." He looked down at swell of her belly. It was larger than the last time he had seen it, much larger, and it was amazing the difference a few months could make. "Are you sure you should be lifting things?"

"You sound like Itaru." Akari frowned, crossing her arms. "He won't let me do anything at home."

"That's because he cares." Kaname smiled pleasantly, reaching down to lift the box for her. "You're almost due, you shouldn't strain yourself."

"Not you too," she grumbled, trying to take the box back. "I'm not invalid."

"I'm not saying you are." He dodged her and she sighed, defeated.

"Fine, fine, take it to the back of the truck; I have a delivery to make."Akari led the way to the company's truck, twirling the keys around her fingers. They were parked next to the dock and she stared out at the water for a moment.

He stood next to her. The waters were a dull colour, the fish far and few between. It was home but not home. The place he knew would never have been so quiet, so empty.

"I tried again, the other day," she murmured, her voice almost drowned out by the breeze. "There was a current that pushed me away, a wall blocking everything."

Kaname pushed his hand out in front of him, remembering the pressure of the current. He had tried at first, fought like he had never fought before. Being mature, being quiet would not help him here and yet being aggressive got him nowhere too. "Do you think it's the sea god?"

"I hope so." Her words were deceptively soft. "If Manaka hadn't grabbed me, if they hadn't jumped down to save me, would none of this have happened?"

There was nothing he could say to that. Not when part of him thought it might be true.

-x-

Here was a cruel thought, an unkind thought:

"I should never have saved you," Kaname confessed, bitter and angry.

They were sitting in the kitchen, doing their homework. Tsumugu's grandfather was still out, reeling in the nets, leaving only the pair in the house. Tsumugu looked up from his sheet, not a ripple in his expression.

"I should have pushed Chisaki away and let you drown." There was a full moon outside and maybe he could blame this lunacy on it. Still the other boy said nothing. "I could have been down there, with them."

"Would you be happier?" Tsumugu finally asked. He set down his pencil.

"I would have been down there with them," Kaname replied and Tsumugu shook his head.

"Yes, but would you have been happier?"

Yes. No. The others would have hated him. He would still have been alone. But he was used to that type of loneliness, of being lost in a crowd. Not like here, where he had nothing, where the only person who looked at him was a boy he wished he could hate.

"Yes," he lied. "I wished I had let you die."

Tsumugu didn't say anything, his eyes seeing through this like he did everything else.

-x-

He was a year older now than everyone. A year older than Chisaki. Kaname felt a little taller, a little bulkier.

Only a year older and there were so many years alone ahead of him.

 _I don't want anything to change_ , Chisaki had confessed, terrified. _Not me or you or anyone._

And here he was, changed permanently. Not that it mattered; even after he confessed, she hadn't looked at him once. No, her eyes had shifted from Hikari to Tsumugu and maybe they had all been changing even before the disaster.

-x-

"I got an A," Sayu proclaimed proudly, holding out her paper. Miuna stood a little behind her, clasping her hands awkwardly. They were in the playground, standing in the middle of a sand pit. Or maybe it was a snow pit, considering the weather.

"That's good." He reached down to pet her hair, watching her face redden at the action. Kaname wasn't quite sure why the pair followed him around so much—he wasn't Hikari and they hadn't paid him much attention before.

Sayu swatted his hand, turning away so he couldn't see her face. "I'm not doing this for you."

"No?" Kaname smiled, not quite sure what to say in response to that. He had never been the best with children—that had been the energetic Hikari and Manaka. "Still, you did a good job."

Sayu covered her face with her test. "It's not for you!"

Before he could reply, Miuna stepped forward. "Do you think they're ok?" Her fingers gripped the edge of her shirt and she looked up at him. "Is Hikari ok?"

"Ye…" The lie choked him. It had been a year now and no one really believed that anymore. Kaname shook his head. "I don't know."

It was not the answer she was looking for. Miuna burst into tears. Wailing, she latched onto his side, burying her face into his pants. "It's my fawwllttt."

"Miuna?" Distraught, Sayu stared at her paper before dropping it. She followed in suit, gripping his other side with her small, chubby hands as she cried into his clothes. "I'm shorry!"

"Miuna? Sayu?" Kaname looked back and forth from one to the other, tentatively resting a hand on each of their heads. They buried their faces even deeper into his pants, their bodies trembling as they cried.

This, this was new. Hikari never cried and Manaka and Chisaki confided in each other and he, he had always had no one to comfort, no one to comfort him. No one but these two girls were clinging to him like a harbour in the storm.

Someone needed him.

The feeling overwhelmed him. _Someone_ needed him. Kaname clung back to the girls, hunching over as he wrapped his arms around him.

Maybe, just maybe, he didn't have to be the odd one out.

-x-

 **Year 3: Hikari**

The sea was a grave.

Hikari barely gave it a glance as he trudged up the hill to the school. The sea salt snow had started to melt the past few weeks, a sign of spring. Before long, it would be summer, the season of competitions.

"Hikari!" Shun yelled from the school gates. "You're going to be late!"

He snorted. "As if!"

Still, he raced up the road anyways. Not once did he look at the sea that used to be home.

-x-

They were not dead. If there was one thing to comfort him, it was this fact. They were not dead, just sleeping under the ice.

So he wasn't living for them, when he read Kaname's books or did Chisaki's homework or joined Manaka's club. He was not living for them because that would mean they were dead and they weren't.

He was just living the life they could have had, they should have had. That was all.

-x-

"Here." Tsumugu held out a sheet of paper, stopping him in the school hallway.

"What?" Hikari quickly grabbed the paper, wanting this over with. Despite the years, he had never gotten truly comfortable with Tsumugu. Maybe he never would. Opening the paper, he froze as he stared at the _Career Options_ form within.

"The teacher wants it in a week." Tsumugu stood there a moment, waiting for a response, before turning to leave.

"Did…" Hikari almost didn't ask question. He stared at the form, his fingers trembling slightly. "Did you pick something?" He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

Tsumugu turned back to face him. His eyes bore right through Hikari and he nodded. "Yes."

Whatever answer he was hoping for, that wasn't it. Hikari crumpled up the paper, shoving it into his pocket.

-x-

"Do you think they'll wake up?" Miuna asked, her hands clasped on her lap. They were sitting on the front porch, staring up at the stars. A meteor shower was supposed to happen today.

"Definitely." He kept his eyes glued to the sky even as his hands dug into the porch. "Maybe in a hundred years or more."

"A hundred…" Miuna repeated, the number too big for her to comprehend. It was almost too big for him to understand either, but it was beyond his lifetime and that was all he needed to know. If he would never see them again anyways, a hundred years might as well be eternity. "So we'll never see them again?"

He swallowed. His hand reached into his pocket, curling around the crumpled career sheet. Keeping the tremor out of his voice, he nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh." Miuna looked down, knitting her brows. She gripped her hands tightly as she tried to grasp it all. "Never."

"It's starting." Hikari changed the subject, pointing up at the stars. There was a white streak, followed by another, and Miuna gasped in delight.

And if he happened to make an impossible wish on those falling stars, no one would know. It was impossible, after all.

-x-

The sea was a grave now but once, it was angry. Dark clouds, tornadoes, pelting rain. The boats were swaying, desperately trying to stay afloat. Hikari could remember the whirlpools below the surface, a swirling mass of destruction.

He could feel that within himself, a tidal wave of anger with no shore to crash on.

-x-

"Hikari." Akari sat down in front of him, still wearing her apron. From the kitchen, he could hear a soft bubbling noise as the curry was cooking. "Your teacher said you hadn't handed in your career sheet."

"I'm going to," Hikari lied. He stared at her evenly. "I'm still deciding."

His sister gave him a look and he swore that having Akira had made her more like a mom. If that was possible. "Hikari."

"Akari," he parroted back. Two could play the name game, if it came to that. "Lemme just think about it."

"…as long as you're actually thinking about it." Akari reached out to grasp his hands, squeezing them tight. "I know it's hard but…we have to keep going. You have to—"

Something inside him snapped and he wrenched his hands out of her grip. "I know! You don't have to tell me, you're the one who left—"

He was standing now, his voice echoing in the room. As Akari stared up at him, her eyes wide, Hikari clamped his mouth shut. He was supposed to be mature now. He wasn't supposed to fight or yell or—he was supposed to be an adult now. It had been three years and what was he doing?

Akira started to cry in the next room and Hikari bolted.

-x-

"Yes," Tsumugu had replied and Hikari hadn't known what he wanted to hear, only that wasn't it.

No, that was a lie. He knew what he wanted to hear, he knew what answer he was looking for: _No, I couldn't pick anything._

Tsumugu should have been with Manaka. They should be up here, happy and in love, making plans for the weekend and the future.

They should have been happy and now, now Manaka was at the bottom of a sea, lost to the tide.

 _Wave the flag so no one gets lost!_ She had asked, smiling brightly. _I'll tell you after._

He had waved and waved and now he was just as lost as they were. Without them, he couldn't imagine a future anymore.

-x-

He swam in the dead sea. Even the fish avoided this area. Hikari must have swum this area a million times since he was little and he couldn't find a single path back, a small sign that his village existed. All that was left was a current that pushed him away. This was his home and now it was as foreign to him as his feelings.

Chisaki and Manaka would have scolded him for this and Kaname would have quietly stepped away. They would have said something but they weren't here anymore. They never would be again. It was time he stepped up and actually acted like an adult.

Gathering his resolve, Hikari swam up to the surface and headed home. When he finally trudged up the path to the new house, Akari was already outside. Sitting on the front porch, she lifted her head when she spotted him coming up. A finger to her lips, she patted the space next to her for him to sit on.

"I'm…" Hikari looked away, biting his cheek. Adults apologized. "I'm sorry."

She gave him a wan smile, shaking her head. "No, I shouldn't have pushed you so hard." Akari looked out, over the sea. "I know it's hard. I miss them too."

"Yeah." He should have remembered that. It was her village too and she had known everyone just as long as he had. "I shouldn't have said that."

She shook her head again, wrapping her arms around him and leaning close. Pulling him close, she leaned her forehead against his. "It's fine. Are you ok?"

It was a little embarrassing, being held like this. He wasn't a kid anymore. Still, he was the one apologizing. It wouldn't hurt to let her do it just this once. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. "Yeah."

She wrapped her arms tighter around him, pulling his head down and almost burying his face in her shirt. "You know, sometimes I wish you hadn't save me that night."

His eyes flew open. "Akari?"

"You could have saved Manaka or maybe the sea god would have been happy with just me and let everyone else go." She kept talking, ignoring his protests. "Or maybe I shouldn't have offered to be the sacrifice or should have listened to dad—there are so many things I could have changed."

She let him pull back now, her arms still loose around him. He could make out her expression now, the slight softening of her eyes, the tremble in her smile. "But I know better now. Because of you, Hikari. "

He couldn't look away from her eyes, from the bare hint of tears in them. "Me?"

"I could have lost this happiness if you weren't here. I was too scared to move forward but you said it's fine if I had Akira. It's fine if I smile. It's fine if I try." She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "You fought the village so I could get married and you fought me so I could be happy."

"I-I didn't—"

"You did." Akari was serious as she pulled back from him. Her hands settled on his shoulders, squeezing them firmly. "And if it's fine if I'm happy, if it's fine for me to try, it's ok if you do too. Don't forget to try for yourself. It's scary but…we have to try."

He wasn't unhappy, he wanted to protest. Hikari was doing well in school and he was in a dozen clubs and he read many books and he wasn't unhappy.

But Akari looked him and like a child, he cried unabashedly in her arms.

-x-

When they were little, Chisaki had once fought with Manaka because she wasn't there to see Tomoebi with everyone else. It was the first time the pair had ever fought seriously. Hell, it was the first time he'd seen Chisaki actually get angry.

 _It's pointless_ , she had explained, _if we can't see it together._

At the time, it made no sense—there would be more chances in the future, more things to do. They didn't share everything after all.

From Akari's porch, he could see Tomoebi and Hikari could finally understand just how true Chisaki's words were.

-x-

"You quit everything." It wasn't quite a question when Tsumugu asked. Nothing with him ever was but instead of getting angry, Hikari nodded. His desk was next to the window and he looked out of it uncomfortably.

"Yeah…it was never really for me." He shrugged. Only with Tsumugu could he get away with this level of explanation.

"I see. Here." Tsumugu leaned against the window, holding out a sheet of paper. Wordlessly, Hikari took it from him. It was unusual enough for the other boy to initiate communication, let alone give something out.

It was his career sheet and the only choice on it was _Oceanographer._

"What?" Hikari stared at it, confused. "Why?"

"We don't understand what's going on." Tsumugu gestured outside the window, to the sea beyond the school grounds. "But with this...we can find out something. We might be able to _change_ something."

These were more words than Tsumugu spoke on an almost monthly basis. Each word was as simple and straight to the point as it could be. As much as Tsumugu loved the sea, Hikari thought the boy was stone, was earth—solid, dependable, concrete.

It was hard to deny the hope that sprouted from a single word on a blank sheet of paper. But as Hikari copied it down onto his own sheet, for the first time the future didn't look so dark anymore.

His sister was right. There was always a way forward.

-x-

 **Year 4: Manaka**

The sea is beautiful.

Manaka climbed out of the sea and onto the docks. Soaked, she turned back to see the thinning layer of ice. It was solid everywhere but a few spots, a few holes she could dive into. The salt snow left a layer of white on everything and in the mid morning sun, she was almost blinded.

Beautiful, just beautiful. Despite it all, she still thought that.

-x-

"You ready for graduation?" Kaori asked, leaning against the classroom window. The school grounds were getting cleaned and there was a mess of people organizing below them.

Manaka peered down, excited. Pressing her nose to the glass, she nodded. "Yeah! It's going to be so beautiful!"

"I guess you're still going to wear that uniform," Yu commented, her shoulders bumping against Manaka's. "Your old school was called Nami, right?"

"Yes!" Manaka twirled around, her white skirt spinning like a whirlpool. This was the third iteration of the uniform she had made and the last. "This way everyone will be with me."

"Everyone," Kaori repeated, her expression softening. Tearing up, she gave Manaka a bear hug. "You're doing so well."

-x-

 _I don't understand_ , she had said once, twice, thrice. _I don't understand_.

That had been a lie, a truth, an avoidance. It was not that she didn't understand, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to understand Hikari's feelings, didn't want to understand Chisaki's changes, didn't want to see the truth Kaname had pointed out.

It was easier to close her eyes and pretend she knew nothing at all.

-x-

"Find anything?" Tsumugu asked when she climbed out of the sea once more. It was after school now, after all the clubs had ended and even the latest student had headed home. She should have headed home hours ago, she knew.

Grandpa would be waiting. He would never admit it but he would be staring out the window right now. Shaking her head, Manaka offered Tsumugu a wan smile. "I couldn't get past the current again."

"…that's fine." Tsumugu went to sit on his bike, waiting until she clambered aboard his cart to start moving. His peddling was steady, the rocking of a boat. "Are you ready for university?"

"I just need to finish packing." Manaka looked up at the twilight sky. The stars were starting to come out as the sun set, the night sky bleeding red in places. "Are you ready?"

"I'm fine." Tsumugu was silent for a moment. He was thinking, she knew. By this point, she had learned to tell what pauses were for thought and which were for the end of a conversation. "You sure you'll be fine away from the sea?"

"No," Manaka answered truthfully. If there was one thing she had picked up from him and his grandfather the past few years it was this: honesty. "But I'll come back."

-x-

"You still search every day?" Akari shook her head as she watched Manaka play with Akira. She stretched her arms behind her, looking out past the backyard to the sea. "Still no luck?"

"No." Manaka tickled Akira and he gave a grumpy pout before giggling. He'd grow to be just like Hikari—stubborn but kind. "But one day I'll make it."

"Maybe." Akari's brow furrowed. She had given up searching shortly after Akira was born. "I'm surprised you're going so far for university. And to think you used to cry the most when things changed."

"I didn't cry that much!" Manaka pouted, puffing up her cheeks. Crossing her arms, she looked away. "I just want to learn more."

 _I don't understand_. For the past four years, those words had been taboo. Manaka studied and studied and asked for help when she couldn't figure it out. She pestered and got tutored and did something, anything, so she would never utter those three words.

So when she had to pick a career choice, when she still didn't know what she wanted to be, she decided to pick the broadest university program there was. She would try everything and she would find something.

And if that meant she had to leave the sea for a little while, she would.

"You've changed so much these past few years." Akari's expression was gentle as she shuffled next to Manaka. Pulling her close, she kissed the younger girl's head and then rested her cheek on it. "You've done well."

Manaka bit her lip, blinking furiously to keep the tears from falling.

-x-

When she graduated, she still wore her Nami uniform, a splotch of bright white and blue amongst the browns and blacks of her classmates. Even if she knew what the high school uniform from Shioshishio looked like, she still would have worn her middle school uniform.

She had promised Hikari she would wear it. And when she got her diploma, when she turned and waved to her classmates, it felt like Hikari, Chisaki, and Kaname were right next to her.

They would never go to school together anymore but for a moment, just a moment, they had all graduated together.

-x-

 _I'll tell you after._

Those words were also taboo. Sometimes, there was no after, no later. She had run away with _I don't understand_ and delayed with _I'll tell you after_ and then it had all ended. Like driftwood, they had all scattered.

Manaka never got the chance to say _I'm sorry, I'm sorry I love you_.

-x-

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Manaka asked, sitting next to Tsumugu. His room was always empty, even more so than hers had been. She'd have to change that when they went to university, even if it was just buying him a fish poster.

He shuffled against the wall so she had room on the floor. Closing the book he was reading, he considered her question. "I'm all packed."

"Me too." Manaka looked down at her clothes—it was strange not seeing her school uniform. To think she'd never wear it again. Out of all the changes, this one was harder than she expected.

"And you?" Tsumugu asked, turning to face her. His expression was calm, the sky without a cloud. Yet, she could still make out the small hints of an expression: the way his eyes crinkled _just_ _so_ when he was concerned, the way his lips set when he was waiting.

It was funny how much she could learn about someone in four years. Or how little she could know others despite living with them her whole life. Hikari's confession had been a shock. Chisaki's feelings were unexpected.

Even Kaname, she was sure, would have surprised her.

"A little nervous," she mumbled, embarrassed. After convincing everyone she was fine, that she was ready, it was hard to admit that she suddenly felt scared. She had never been away from the sea for more than a day before.

Tsumugu processed it before nodding. "It is far from home."

Manaka blinked before giving a small smile. Of course he understood. Even before, he had always known just what to say.

 _You're the sun_ , she had confessed once, _Hikari is the sea and you are the sun._

She had meant it then. She still meant it now. But the past four years had taught her the sun didn't burn as hot as she feared. Reaching out, she shyly placed her hand on his, holding it lightly. It surprised him, she knew, and perhaps even she had surprised the others all those years ago.

 _I'll tell you later_ , she had decided but later never happened. There was only now, there was always only now, and her mistakes with Hikari, she would never repeat again. She had learned to live without the sea, to have only air in her lungs and the land under her feet.

Tsumugu still didn't say anything, but he interlaced their fingers.

"You could always stay." Tsumugu gestured at the door, returning to the previous topic. "Grandpa wouldn't mind."

And he wouldn't, she knew. For how little he spoke, grandpa never kept quiet about things he disagreed with. But she couldn't stay. That would be running away again and that was something she refused to do.

"I'll be fine," Manaka said. She had to be. When everyone woke up, they would see that they didn't need to worry about her.

They would see that she had tried her hardest.

"I'll be fine," she repeated, and she meant it.

-x-

 **Year 5: Chisaki**

Chisaki stood on the cliff top, soaking in the warm, summer sun. Stretching her arms behind her, she looked down to the harbour. From here, she could spot Tsumugu's ship drifting idly along the coast. Even further along, she could spot several bright white uniforms making their way along the dock.

It was a perfectly normal morning.

She hadn't realized just how much she had missed those.

-x-

"You could go back," her grandfather said. Tsumugu's grandfather said. At some point, she had unconsciously started tacking a _mine_ on him, in the same way the bedroom was hers and the pots were hers and even this whole house was hers.

At some point, this had become her home and not just a temporary shelter.

"I'm fine," she said, smiling. She had weekends in her old home and weekdays here and maybe it was possible to live two lives, to be split in two places without it being painful. "I'm happy."

"I see." He went back to his newspaper and she was sure she saw the faintest of smiles on his face.

-x-

Her bedroom was both exactly and nothing like she remembered it. Chisaki sat on her bed, looking the small figurines and books that lined her shelves, the posters that hung on her walls.

At one point, this had all meant so much to her. She picked up a small dolphin figurine. Turning it over in her hands, she could see small cracks on it, pieces of glue from where she tried to keep it together. She used to love it.

Now it was nothing more than a paperweight. This was a child's room.

"Are you ok in here?" Her mother poked her head through the door, her voice wavering uncertainly. Slowly, she entered the room, her hands clasped in front of her. "I dusted it but left everything else the same."

"It's fine." Chisaki smiled back, not quite certain how to act. To react. Her father had pulled her into an awkward hug before, his hands reaching up to stroke her hair before falling back to his sides. She wasn't sure if which she wanted him to do.

"That's good." Her mother rubbed her arms. "Do you still like cookies? I was going to bring some but I wasn't sure if you still liked them."

And if she wasn't sure how to act, her parents were even worse. They alternated between treating her like a child and like a stranger. They were all trapped, stuck in a rut, and maybe it was time she tried something new.

"I do," she confirmed. Getting up, she approached her mother and squeezed her hands. "I was wondering, is it ok if we redecorated a little here? I wanted to buy some new blankets."

Her mother gave a small smile, wrapping her hands around Chisaki's. "Sure."

-x-

Chisaki floated down to Shioshishio, scanning the area for Tsumugu. He was almost worse than Akira, spending every waking moment under the water. If it weren't for his university or his essay, she was certain he'd be living down here.

"There you are!" she muttered when she spotted him on a rocky outcrop. He was just sitting on a ledge, staring out at the village.

"You need to let someone know when you're down here," she scolded as she lightly landed next to him. A thin layer of dust rose on impact. Even now, there were still remnants of salt snow. "What if you got a phone call?"

"You would get me." Tsumugu answered simply. He looked up her, unsettling her heart just as much as she had just unsettled the dust.

Chisaki bit her lip, trying to hide how flustered she felt. It had been months by now, she shouldn't react like this every single time. "You can't rely on that all the time."

"You're very reliable." He got up now, as though that ended the argument, as though that was fact. For him, it probably was. "Manaka said you didn't need an alarm clock when you were younger."

"Manaka!" Turning red, she glared at the city. She knew the pair met almost every day, a bond that neither she nor Hikari could quite understand. Chisaki didn't need to, not really, but she hoped that they weren't talking about her every time. "Did…did she say anything else?"

Tsumugu gave her a long stare and she flushed a darker shade of red. They were definitely talking about her often. Just what did Manaka tell him?

"A-are you done?" Chisaki changed the topic, resting her cool hand on her cheek. Maybe it would turn her colour back to normal quicker. "We can head back together."

"Yes." Tsumugu nodded his head, pointing at another outcrop further on. "I just have to get the data from that site."

"That's not a yes." She sighed, defeated. "Alright. I'll go with you there first."

"Thanks." He picked up his backpack from the ground, slinging it over his shoulder. There was the barest hint of a smile in his eyes, in the curl of his lip. Receiving Ena was probably the greatest moment of his life and he had not wasted a moment of it.

"You spend almost all your time down here," she mumbled under her breath, biting her cheek.

"Chisaki?" He heard her. Taking her hand, Tsumugu threaded his fingers through hers. There was a something sly in his smile, something a little cocky and confident in his tone. "Jealous?"

 _No_ , she almost answered. It would have been so easy to say that, to chip his confidence just a little. Even when she confessed, he hadn't been surprised. Her cheeks were warm again, after she had just cooled them down, and she looked away. "Yes."

She didn't let go of his hand once as they swam away.

-x-

Manaka poked her head through the window, examining Chisaki's room. "It looks so different!"

Chisaki smiled as she packed her bag, putting her notes and make up inside. "I wanted to try something out. I can show you it later, if you want."

"Yes!" Manaka beamed. There was a shout behind her and she pouted. "Hikari says you need to hurry up."

"He's always so impatient." Chisaki shook her head. "I'll be down in a minute." Turning around, she grabbed her phone from her side table.

It was graduation time for the others. A step from middle school to high school. It was funny, all those times she had pictured this day, and she had never imagined herself sitting with the parents. Chisaki had accepted things wouldn't be exactly the same between them, that there were a plethora of firsts that her friends had missed experiencing with her.

What she hadn't realized was how it would work in the opposite direction too. She couldn't go through homework and essays and graduation with them.

"HURRY UP!" Hikari's voice came through the window, loud and clear. Chisaki smiled.

Even if she couldn't experience it with them, if there was one thing she had learned recently, it was that there was always a way. As long as they all tried, as long as they all wanted it, there was always a way to stay connected.

"Coming!" she yelled, picking up her bag.

This time, no one would be left behind.


End file.
